Mission: Impossible: Rogue: Nation

Join me in watching the fifth and by no means final episode in the Ethan Hunt saga, in which IMF—gasp!—gets shut down and Ethan—gulp!—goes rogue. Insiders turn out to be bad guys! Ethan works with a beautiful mystery woman he isn't sure he can trust! They steal something they don't understand and give it to the villain! I know this sounds like every other Mission Impossible film! But this one is even better than most of the others! I compare it to the other films, to James Bond (again [too much {again}]), to the TV show, to Phantom Menace, to Hitchcock, to Faust, to Foul Play, to and to my swimming pool. I tiptoe around Cruise's real life, explain the geography of Europe and the design of my swimming pool, fail to remember Timothy Dalton's name, do an impression of Luther that is half Ving Rhames and half Tracy Morgan, point out a couple of substantial logic gaps, and complain endlessly about how much I like the film.